‘Dumbledore’ is Gay

Magnificent Bastards,

I’ve been asked to opine on this.

When the last Harry Potter book came out, I happened to find myself at Borders. As I stood on line, I watched one customer monopolizing two clerks at the check-out counter. The three of them were discussing the newly released Harry Potter. I waited patiently until one of the clerks turned to me and asked, “are you a Harry Potter fan?”

“I think Harry Potter is horse shit.”

They stared at me, and then turned back to their conversation. Two clerks to one person. I normally don’t like to complain about customer service since that’s the kind of thing my mother does, however, this was nuts. After painfully enduring having to watch them emote about some ludicrous character dying in the book, I asked “is one of you going to ring me up?”

“I’ll be with you in a moment, sir” answered one of them as they continued their conversation. It took them another several minutes to finish chit-chatting before either clerk would charge me for my purchase.

So, when my friends email me and my co-workers buttonhole me because “you are interested in literature,” asking what do I think about Dumbledore being gay, I apologize for having to break it to you that

a) The Harry Potter oeuvre is not literature by any stretch of the word
b) I don’t give a fuck if some wizard is a fellow homosexual. Either way, he’s gay.

Sigh, Kitsch is always in the process of escaping into rationality.” — Hermann Broch

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2 Responses to “‘Dumbledore’ is Gay”

  1. Scipio Says:

    “”I think Harry Potter is horse shit.””Bravo!

  2. darknessatnoon Says:

    Thank you, sir. It was a real moment of clarity for me.

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