Topsy Turvy the Motherfucker

I’ve been getting the sense that my new job was in jeopardy. The boss has trust issues with new (and, apparently, old) employees, and is therefore reluctant to hand things off to me. Day in and day out, I’ve had little to do but surf the web. Eventually it was going to come to this delicate moment where things were either “working out” or “not working out,” and I sensed it was weighing towards the latter.

At lunch I took a walk with one of my co-workers (who has appeared before on this blog as “the Office Psycho”) and gave him my analysis of our employer and of the situation. He complimented my ability to read people and said that he agreed with the “not working out” estimation. He urged me to intervene; to make it seem like it was my boss’ fault for not opening the lines of communication. He asked if I’d noticed any errors in accounting or book-keeping. As a matter of fact, I’d encountered several. In his immortal words I need to “turn it around on him.”

“Topsy turvy the motherfucker?”

“Exactly.”

Which is precisely what I did once I got back into the office. I pulled my boss aside and asked for five minutes. I told him that our company’s accounting has been haphazard and it can’t continue on like this. I explained the nature of the mistakes and the lengths I’d have to go to correct them. “There are also numerous problems with this filing system.” He told me that this is exactly why he had hired me. “Certainly, but unless we meet regularly, I can’t update you on what I’ve corrected and what still needs to be fixed, or where I need your input.” This talk shook him. “I’m glad you’re saying these things to me,” he breathed. “I know I’ve just left you in here with nothing to do, bored.” “Yes, and I don’t mind that some times but I want to take this office off your hands, and while I don’t mind downtime, I’m not a huge fan of the internet.”

He started smiling and conversing with me, “training” me with as many new tasks as he could think of, and I added that I want to concentrate on the tasks that help him out. I explained that I want to create “systems and processes” (a favorite expression of the social retard ).

I believe it worked. I highly recommend the strategy of topsy turvy.

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2 Responses to “Topsy Turvy the Motherfucker”

  1. Ali Says:

    Topsy turvy…. That’s the same advice Larry gave Leon on Curb Your Enthusiasm before the job interview (“flip it on him”)

  2. darknessatnoon Says:

    Exactly. I flipped it on him. Larry and Leon are gods and guides.

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